Based on everyone’s experience:
There are times when you fall in love, when you start a new relationship with someone. At the back of your mind, you say to yourself ” it will be different this time” . ” I will not get hurt this time ” then your whole world changes. Your same old boring life changes as he walks in and makes you feel like you’re the luckiest person in the whole wide world. You spend most of the time together. He takes you out on several dates. He holds your hand whilst walking around the places. You feel safe when he’s around, Yet you feel this insecureness deep inside your heart not knowing where this is going. Your heart skips a beat every time you see his face. Your stomach feels like there are tons of butterfly flying around. You hate the feeling but love it at the same time.
At the point, everything is PERFECT. Nothing can ever change this. We are the best couple in the whole world! That skype incoming call ringtone makes your heart pound so fast every time it rings, hoping it is him on the other end of the line. You spend hours talking to a laptop, smiling, laughing, eating, etc. You even fall asleep in front of your laptop time to time ( or even every nights!) Admit it, we all do that. You’re the not only one. You become closer and closer to him every day. He promises you things, planning out life together, talking about the future together. This point, he is your everything. Your best friend, your lover or even your partner in life.
How can this ever go wrong? you think to yourself.. Our love is growing. How can anything stop us?
Little did you know, nothing lasts forever. Life finds a way to f*ck your relationship up no matter what.
Let’s talk about the fights you guys have. You’re angry and hurt. You say some mean things and try to push him out. He thinks you kick him out of your life, but he doesn’t understand girls. He doesn’t know that when you push him out, it is the time you need him most. If you’re like me, you would find it every hard to tell him what you want because you think it would be more romantic and better if he could figure it out himself what you want. You want him so badly at this point. It’s like a game you play in your head. Who gives in first, lose.
It kills you every time you see him and he seems to be okay, but you’re not, you’re not okay, but you can’t say it. You talk to your girlfriends about it, but the best thing they can do is giving you advices..
You are now hopeless. so hopeless… then you have this 2 second of braveness in you.
" F*ck this sh*t!!" / " You know what? I don’t need him anyway" but again those braveness lasts for 2 secs… literally 10 secs max..
In the end, you find yourself running back to him. You can’t bare with the pain. You gave it. You just lost to your own game.
Time goes by, things starting to get back into normal routines… Happy, lovey dovey as you were before. You think ” This is it!” ” We’re back on track again!”
Then again .. life finds a way to f*ck it all up again
It’s a cycle that you can never get out of.. unless you’re really brave which is very rare.
who knows, one day you might be strong enough to walk away from him and not wanting or dying to get back to him. but for now…
You’re part of the patterns… just like me and thousand of girls out there
Welcome to the family.